Friday, February 12

II - Specific Allergic Reactions of the Free Range Guinea Translators to Certain Kinds of Assignments

Free-Range translators have shown allergic reactions to industrial-related texts and over-redundant texts going as far as developing a rare form of narcolepsy causing specimens to suddenly pass out in front of irrational tasks: for instance, working on promotional texts for hotels to update for a major hotel chain, where you have to update dates and seasonal offers in order to make them suitable for marketing over Christmas 2009, yet being such work assigned to you on 27th December 2009: the Free-Range immediately faints, only to wake up hours later. Another case that can generate an allergic reaction can be translating UI terms with PM guidelines as such:

Use double language format - English and (Italian in brackets) for all UI of the software, except those with capitals and attached, while translate Win UI, but for the directories related to the software. Please keep every segment under 35 characters for questions and 60 for answers. The client's TM is your first reference, but for terms relating to the 2004 version of the software, for which please check our website. Best,
Richard
www.mortifyingperwordrate.com.
PS: in the fourth TM on the server, all 100% results from P. Johnson are wrong, please check everytime by right clicking on the concordance text.
PPS: be informal but not formal like Microsoft manuals ;)

In this case, since the first two lines, the Free Range immediately begins to tremble and bleed from the nose. Researchers suspect that such reaction is caused by the specimen wondering 1- being this software for Oracle programmers who chew UI English since before they had teeth, why am I told to translate "double-click" into "fare clic due volte" (-do the click twice-) instead of "clicca due volte" (-double-click), as recommended by the MNPOI (Ministry for Nonsensical Preservation of Obsolete Italian)? 2- Once it is translated in this lengthy and irrationally obstinate Italian, Oracle programmers will skip to the English page within 3 minutes of reading the Italian instructions. In fact, the Free Range is aware of how, if you are an Oracle programmer, you do not anymore read words: you just see binary code dribbling before your eyes and, in that text, you will only detect written strings like directories, verbs and commands, but no longer your superior mind will indulge in stuff like reading a whole sentence in any language.
After becoming aware of such facts, the Free Range just keeps on staring blankly beyond the screen, produces to single tears from his right eye and faints. These being indeed unique allergic reactions, the Free Range was quickly drawn on the brink of extinction by more omnivore species of translators, and today we take pride in studying what could be soon a memory of the past.
As exemplified by these few anecdotal observations, there are few similarities to be listed if we take a Guinea Free Range specimen and compare it to any other translator family, but perhaps for Jefferson's translator (commonly know as Trados Squirrel), which is thought to have separated from the Guinea Free Range approximately ten-thousand years ago, shortly before the advent of the Proz Age.
At that time, it is thought that Free Range translators abounded not just in the South-East Pacific, but all over the globe: fossil evidence has proved that individuals with characteristics similar to the modern Free Range's lived in Eastern Africa, North America (where it became extinct as recently as the XIX century due to the settlers' savage corporate hunts) and Europe.

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