News - "Click Revolutionary kidnapped"

This is the last e-mail received by a translator from his hiding location in the Argentinian Ande.

Shortly after sending the message, the SDLX militias arrived and at present the hold him captive. The prisoner is thought to be a member of the Church of the Second Proofreading, the European offspring of the Hijos de la Inconsistency, a radical sect of translators who reject the use of CAT tools. There have not been further communications from the kidnappers and tonight authorities have scheduled an emergency meeting in Buenos Aires at the residence of Percent Iate, the New Guinea Consul's appointed expert and a free-range translator himself. Iate is the only acknowledged representative of Guinea Free-Range Translator Tribes, as they and their representative are defined in the UNCFTA 20 May 2001/Matters concerning the international recognition of the Free-Range Translators community, L. Grassman vs. New Guinean government pronouncement, p. 23-45. 

Here is the moving and frantic letter of a defender of translators, and yet a potential terrorist and member of a severely extremist sect. After enduring several weeks of fighting and hiding, apparently he was reached by the militias while he was writing this very mail. He is heavily altered as he writes, and seems to refer to past events, and more specifically to his conversion, a central topic in he Church of the Second Proofreading. Experts suspect that the victim might have been forced to use CAT and shocked with a 30k words batch. We do not know how did he send the email, from what device, nor it has been made public to whom it was sent.

"[missing text] Microsoft standard, always respected elsewhere, forces translators to use an unbearably long periphrasis: "to right-click" becomes "fare clic con il pulsante destro". 99.9% of italians who use a PC uses shorter expressions among which "fare clic destro". Please allow for this madness to end: readers will surely appreciate it as it is obnoxiously redundant. "To click" is academically "Fare clic", but EVERYONE say "Cliccare". But that is very radical for Italians and I still do not dare to push it forward. The subject is not futile at all as Italians have to do MAD things when there are character limits per cell or row; likewise, a persistent formality involving the use of impersonal syntax, infinitives and bureaucratic, cold approach to readers of manuals are all factors that slow down Italian translators, draining energy and time which should be for proof or research or a snack. Too much time is dedicated to fitting coiling subjects and verbs, making something complex of what once was straight-forward handbook english. If you become aware of such issues and test alternatives, you can have the chance not only to maximize your staff's production, but also to make them enjoy their work better, as we often get so frustrated by the awareness that such time-sucking syntax-juggling-for-the-sake-of-formality is utterly useless, as the reader would rather want a straight-forward, linear, clean Italian that explains things clearly and pragmatically [missing text] Last but absolutely not least, the pitch of an Italian manual turns out to be aloft, vanely robotic in the repetitions of blurb while unclear in the relevant spots. Definetely heavier, especially for IT manuals: IT guys worldwide know the English for their job and just scroll through manuals picking up what they need. I mean, no beginner will ever read an Oracle server manual. If he needs one, instead, he probably knows already how to use it and will just peek at the manual looking for a filepath or a command every now and then. SO there is a particularly generous time- and money-squandering attitude to still hold on to certain obsolete language structures, the virtuosity of which are no longer appreciated and barely perceived by the average reader of a  handbook for specialists and/or professionals, who wouldn't care less whether you address them Sir or buddy, as they just want brief, clear information. Manuals are things that people mostly do not use nor read. English manuals are friendly in comparison, sound like your neighbour is telling you how to install a program or to clean your chainsaw. American handbook English is blessed with carelessness for grammar, syntax; randomly, they's become you's, plurals turn singular and it's no scandal to anyone. Look at how they make us work: for each English 10 words, we have to use 20 to get the concept across. To some extent, it is unavoidable and a liguistic fact. But some of it is so obsolete that hit causes us to have troubles when we work on a text.

Why can't we write "cliccare", io clicco, doppio clicco, clicco col destro! Why on earth even for a young creation like the PC there already is a sclerotized standard which forces me -through its duly and unconcerned hangmen: the PMs, the proofreaders, at best in a hurry and just unaware- to write "fare clic", "fare clic con il pulsante destro". Just look at it, think you read: RIGHT-CLICK.

and translate: FARE CLIC CON IL PULSANTE DESTRO.

Does it feel right to you?

I am limiting my examples to the few which are easily understandable even by a reader with no cognition of Italian language. Not every country experiences the same socio-linguistic issues or does so at varying extents, but I am sure many translators share similar issues and face parallel obstacles with their own language.